“You give birth to that on which you fix your mind.”
~ Antoine De Saint-Exupery
What is it you are giving birth to? Are you focusing on what you want or are you focusing on what you don’t want? What do you find yourself thinking about?
Several years ago, I was in my dream job of about three years, sitting on the leadership team of a large church. I loved my job. It was a joy to go to work every day. I was contributing. The people I worked with where caring, creative, loving, productive, collaborative, inspiring, and motivating – it was a great team. I felt privileged to be serving the people – staff and attenders of this church and the community.
In my third year we were making some organizational changes. During this time I voiced to my new boss that I didn’t think I was really the right person for the position I was in. Fast forward six months later, he was asking for my resignation. This was absolutely gut wrenchingly devastating. Painful does not even begin to describe the intense pain I felt. Rejection.
Several months after I was asked to leave, I began to see the power of my words, “I’m not the right person for this position”. I could see how my actions had begun to show I wasn’t the right person. Nothing illegal or immoral happened. I simply acted on my belief of those powerful words. Not only did I verbalize the thought, I fixed my mind on it, believed it and acted from that belief. My boss had no choice but to ask for my resignation. I had the glorious opportunity to go back and reconcile with my boss – owning my contribution. That truly was freeing!
Looking back in hindsight, there is redemption in my story. It was several months after this event, which I was able to rise above it and see how I gave birth to that on which I fixed my mind. I became focused on the fear of losing my job, which is what I was saying in not so many words, that everything I did, every decision, every action or reaction was made from focusing on the fear rather than from what I wanted. I wanted to be a part of the leadership team, of this dynamic and growing organization, yet, I was absorbed and fixated with losing my job. I even recall shopping two weeks before I was asked to leave. During that shopping trip, I recall having a vivid picture and strong impression, “Don’t buy it, you may not have a job in two weeks.”
Leaving my dream job was the best thing that ever happened to me. I was able to take some time for self development – spiritually, mentally, physically and emotionally on an accelerated pace. This was a gift. Over the past nine years, I’ve continued to grow in these areas, transforming from glory to glory. I was recently reminded of giving birth to what I fix my mind on. I’ve since spent time reflecting and refocusing, incorporating daily and sometimes hourly to notice that which it is I’m fixing my mind on.
What is it you’re focused on? A fear? A goal? The glass half full? The glass half empty? You will move towards that what you have set your mind on. We don’t stop thinking. Ever. Stop thinking. So…what are you thinking about? You’re thinking about not thinking. You will always be thinking. You get to choose that which you focus. What are you giving birth to?